Hi! Dan here. I hope you are well, unless you are one of my enemies. Because my standup knee will not stop twitching I am going to be performing a show at the Edinburgh Festival in August 2017 - at the Assembly George Square at 9.15pm if you must know.* It is called RETURN OF THE DAN ANTOPOLSKI and if you don't believe me then you need to talk to someone because I named it and why would I lie. From a marketing point of view alone, I mean come off it.
In any case I will be previewing it around the place in case you want to see it before it's good although why would you? Perhaps an anthropology thing, I don't know your life. Here are the places and dates and if you can't do BASIC GOOGLING to make up the rest of the information then maybe you won't get my very high-level jokes about people's balls, their butts - all the burning topics of the day, people's bits. Brexit and people's butts.
20 MAY - MARGATE, Cliffs - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
01 JUNE - RAMSBOTTOM, Civic Hall - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
01 JUNE - BURY, The Met - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
02 JUNE - LONDON, The Harrison N1 - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
08 JUNE - IPSWICH, Altered Feast - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
10 JUNE - KETTERING Arts Centre - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
13 JUNE - KINGSTON, Outside The Box - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
20 JUNE - MANCHESTER, XS Malarkey - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
22 JUNE - LONDON, Penge Festival - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
28 JUNE - CANTERBURY, Marlowe Theatre
03 JULY - LONDON, The Bill Murray N1 - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
07 JULY - LONDON, 2 Northdown St N1 - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
13 JULY - HASTINGS, Kino Teatr - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
14 JULY - LONDON, 2 Northdown St N1 - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
20 JULY - YORK, The Winning Post - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
21 JULY - MARGATE - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
28 JULY - LONDON, The Cat's Back, Putney - EDINBURGH PREVI
30 JULY - LONDON, Cutty Sark Greenwich - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
30 JULY - LONDON, Up The Creek Greenwich - EDINBURGH PREVIEW
I will add more to this list as I book them in - not before. NB As the festival nears, the promotional tone will become more earnest so watch out for that.
Meanwhile, for offers of work please contact Noel Gay Management:
Or you know just facebook me or something. For example to offer me an Ed Preview slot at that small but lovingly curated night you run between now and August.
Think I've struck the right tone**. Best wishes to you and your disavowed son who will be knocking on your door with shall we say a bit of an agenda in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. No no you get that, I'll wait.
** Yes? Oh, you again. (twirls hair) You.. you don't just come here for the footnotes do you? AND ROMANCE